A Highly Addictive Cautionary Tale

I can’t get enough of Jenna Jameson’s autobiography How To Make Love Like A Porn Star.

It’s such a good read and I’ve always wondered how girls have gotten into the industry.  But you have to admit that Jenna is a cut above the rest known for being the top in the industry.  The book is filled with a collection of personal photographs and letters that makes it much more personal than just a written account of her life.

It’s important to note that porn stars or anyone for that matter weren’t born and decided from that moment on that being in the sex industry was their calling.  Sometimes it’s a host of experiences and heartbreaks in life that steer you down the path of no return.  I don’t want to spoil how she got into the industry because some of you might want to read it, but I have to say that even though I haven’t gone through half the things she’s gone through, there’s still a part of me that can truly relate to the experiences we share in common and I’m sure a lot of you out there will too.  We can’t forget that at the end of the day we’re all human.

I highly recommend the book as it’s such an inspiration to read and a definite page turner.  Funnily enough I found out about the book during my feminist class as one of them was horrified at the fact that a porn star had written an autobiography.  So I made a mental note to look for it but later on came across it at a bookstore, flipped through it and knew I had to have it.

To avoid being as narrow minded as my fellow feminist classmate, I want to make it a point from now on to truly respect and not fight against certain beliefs that other people may have.  There’s a part of me that’s just heartbroken from certain beliefs I felt were forced upon me and I think I need to let them go in order to move on.  I know that I have certain beliefs that other people may find disturbing or just plain wrong, but once again I’m not here to offend, I’m just here to share my open-mindedness about sex and all it’s beautiful aspects x

sex addiction does not = infidelity

It’s such a shame that as of late, a number of celebrities have come out and admitted that they have cheated due to being a sex addict.  They are (as we are all aware) Tiger Woods, David Duchovny, Eric Benet (checked himself into rehab to try and save his marriage with Halle Berry but ended up getting divorced in 2003), Russell Brand and Usher just to name a few.  But does being a sex addict really make it ok to cheat or is it just an easy cop out?

According to medical experts, sex addiction has to do with the relationship one has with sex.  Therefore sex addiction isn’t about the activity itself or even about having a high sex drive.  It’s about being able to find some kind of ‘escape’ when doing it, whether it’s finding instant happiness or a way of coping with stress.  It’s the use of sex to gain instant gratification or an instant ‘high’ on life.

Sex addiction isn’t just multiple affairs or paid sex, it also ranges from compulsive masturbation to the excessive use of porn (often referred to as the ‘crack cocaine’ of sex addiction, being that it’s so easily and widely accessible, people are instantly hooked).  Most sex addictions start from there and only progress to increasingly dangerous behaviours from there.  Severe cases have been found where people lose their jobs and partners because of it, and 17% even lose the will to live.

But not all medical experts are convinced by their patients’ pleas of being a sex addict.  Some believe that the use of the term makes people shun the responsibility of their actions by having a somewhat legitimate excuse.  Psychologists refer to this as ‘functional attribution’ – sex addicts being able to justify their actions by thinking they can’t really help themselves.  Although, an anti-testosterone drug has now been made available as a cure, but apparently they’re not the most desirable pill to swallow.

Now I’m no medical expert but I am aware of the many delectable things people can be easily addicted to.  It’s only human nature to want to indulge once in a while in order to reward yourself or to just gain instant gratification.  Whether it be through food, alcohol or even shopping.  But it should never be at someone else’s expense.

An addiction to anything is never healthy and shouldn’t be used an excuse for destructive behaviour.  Especially when that behaviour ultimately leads to heartache.  More often than not, it’s not the act of sex that hurts your significant other, rather the betrayal behind the cheating that hurts the most.  Regardless of the addiction, it’s important to take responsibility and seek the help that is needed.  It’s too easy to place the blame of your indiscretions on an addiction, but it’s just not good enough.  Don’t make something that’s meant to be pleasurable, the cause for your loved one’s misery.