buck wild baby

serendipity: good fortune or luck.

my definition; the boy i had THE biggest crush on back in high school from another state moves down to my state, becomes single and asks ME to show him around 😉 i couldn’t get ANY luckier!

i milked this situation like you wouldn’t believe! this guy was GORGEOUS!!! he was tall, dark and extremely handsome. he had that charismatic smile that could make any girl’s panties wet and he was definitely the type that girls would chase…but not me.

so he moved down here about two years ago but met him again last year.  he was a couple of years older than me and i always admired him from afar…as it was his friends that i knew. i met him once from what i can remember, and i thought that was a good enough reason to add him on facebook 🙂 (i know you all do it too so don’t even START to condemn me!)

a few months down the track he got in touch with me through facebook. saying that i looked like a party animal he would like to get to know better and if it would be ok to show him around. you don’t know how ECSTATIC i was! i was THE happiest person! mind you, i had a boyfriend at the time but i didn’t care!

so our first meet up was at my besty’s birthday. i made sure i looked shyt hot and i did! he didn’t stay long and i was pretty disappointed as it was because he had to go home and look after his ‘on again off again girlfriend’. i kind of lost interest in him after that. it spoilt my whole night too.

then he got in touch with me again, ofcourse giving me butterflies like you wouldn’t believe!!! so we decided to go clubbing. we partied and drank SO incredibly hard that night! we stayed till the place practically kicked us out! all the grinding that i did on him got us SO worked up, and even though i did everything i could…he didn’t make a move. i didn’t know whether i was glad he respected me, or frustrated cause i didn’t get me any ‘boom boom pow’. he looked me in the eye and told he wanted to do it the ‘proper’ way and not rush anything. since he just broke up with his girlfriend, he wanted to make sure i knew i wasn’t his rebound.

(BUT one of my TOP philosophies is…cut the shyt, let’s fuck. no bs, just do it. cause after you have sex, that’s when you know if you’re meant to go further in your relationship).

so i played like a lil virgin girl and agreed with him and waited till our next date; a romantic dinner for two. by the way, i HATE dates! i don’t believe in them, they’re stupid. i hate sitting there and feeling awkard, stressing bout what i look like while i’m eating or if i have any food in between my teeth. definitely NOT a fan.

but i still ended up going knowing i was going to get me SUM that night 😉

before meeting him i got a brazilian wax done and the girl that was doing it asked me,

“so…do you have a boyfriend?”

i answered,

“nope. but i’ve got a date tonight so now you exactly why i’m in here!”

it gave her her good laugh for the day. she needed it considering how many more puns she was goin to make smooth that day.

i met up with him…had that awkward date, but at the same time i couldn’t help but melt in his pressence. after he decided to take me to a bar.  the bar was quite cool, except for the fact everyone was peeking and it really wasn’t my scene.  all i could think about was him ramming his big cock in my tight pussy.

it was getting late in the night and i REALLY needed it. so i turned to him with a sparkle in my eye and said…

“what do you think about going to a hotel now?”

he was shocked…but at the same time he had that sparkle in his eye too.

we walked into about three or four hotels and LUCKILY enough for me a hostel was willing to check us in at 12am in the morning.

i couldn’t get up there any quicker! each step i took up the stairs got me wetter by the second! we finally got in there and had the best view of the city about 10 levels up. i turned the lights off and we both kissed each other with intense passion…i was glad he shared the same ache for me as i did for him.

he took his shirt off and OMG did he have a fucking hot body! being a fighter he was beautifully toned…i could barely wait to wrap my mouth around his cock!

i’m not used to being the ‘taker’ but i had no choice when he pinned me down and slid my lacey g to the side taking his breath away and makin me bite down on my bottom lip. his tongue licked my wetness up soooo good omgggggg! he couldn’t get enough! repeatidly telling me how delicious i tasted…

i could barely contain myself and needed him in me so i pulled him up to kiss me, loving the taste of my juice. i grabbed his long hard shaft and continued to tug it making him moan louder and louder for me. i pulled away and gave him a lustful look before i made my way down to his cock, he was so long and i loved having him in my mouth. i sucked it so deep and so good that i could feel him getting harder, tasting the familiar taste of pre-cum on my tongue. i didn’t want him to cum in my mouth so i pulled out and took control on top of him for a bit. but i couldn’t let him cum without him giving it to me in my favourite position. so i leaned down and sexily whispered in his ear,

“can you do me doggy baby?”

i felt his cock twitch in me as the words rolled off my tongue and into his ear. he couldn’t agree more and got me to bend over with my beautiful ass up. i once again took his breath away as he placed his hand over my ass and giving me a good lil spank!

*apparently* i moan and feel too good and that’s the reason why guys cum too quick. who knows…i feel all the guys i’ve been with have pre-ejaculation problems..but that’s just too many guys in the world that have the same problem….maybe i’m jus that good perhaps? maybe.

after moaning and groaning like a pornstar, i finally let him cum all over my beautiful derrière and he affectionately cuddled up against me. yet another thing i don’t really believe in. i’m not really the lovey affectionate type straight away….i have to warm into these things.

he then starts talkin bout travelling, and going to Europe together then coming back here to settle down and get married. i turned to him and jokingly said,

“you’re referring to me aren’t ya?”

he looked at me with a warm smile, the lustful twinkle in his eye replaced with one that was more loving, he said,

“you never know what the future has in store baby…”

i gave him a forced smile and slowly took  my arm off him, and turned my back towards him. he wrapped his arm around me pulling me close but i knew straight away that he wasn’t the one i wanted to be with. as attracted as i was to him and as sexy as i found him…someone that was just TOO into me has always been the biggest turn off.

an insight into the world of Erotica

My proudest accomplishment YET as a writer and journalist ~ my interview with erotic author Krissy Kneen. I was SO flattered…beyond anything you could ever imagine! Out of the three panelists during the erotic discussion at the Melbourne Writer’s Festival last week, she struck me as the bravest and most fascinating.

The very next day I bought her book ‘Affection’ and finished it within two days! I was able to relate to so many of her experiences and I loved how she was unapologetically raw within her book, giving an insight into another different world of sexuality; opening our eyes to the possibilities. Her book was so touching and I believe that it is imperative that we are all in touch with our own sexuality in order to grow and become better people.

Since I was given the permission to use her interview wherever possible, I wanted to share it all here with you, with the hope of opening your horizons to a greater more sexual world that awaits you!

You begin your story by being ‘tied up’ to one of your particular partner’s, is there a hidden meaning into this?  In regards to the your book or maybe about sexuality?

The choice of this scene as the first scene was made my editor, Mandy Brett. An inspired choice. The scene was later in the book and she moved it up front because, rightly, she thought that I needed to start right with the sex. Let the audience know what they were up for right up front. The scene was not written with any hidden meaning but I suppose what I like about it is how domestic it is. I like the fact that even when we played with some light S and M it was always so normalised. It was just play. It also shows that sex that is considered perhaps a bit unusual is quite ordinary at times. This is part of the heart of the book, the ordinary joy of sexuality.

What is your opinion on monogamy? During the erotica discussion at the Melbourne Writer’s Festival you mentioned that you didn’t believe that human beings were meant to be monogamous, could you please elaborate more on that?

I think it is always a struggle to be monogamous. Maybe it is just me but I find myself falling into patterns quite quickly. After an initial flush of excitement it seems we fall into the monotony of a relationship and start looking around for new things. The new shiny toy. I suppose there is a biological imperative behind this, something about spreading our genetic thumb print more widely. I think monogamy is a choice and a very difficult one to execute. But it has its plusses. Sometimes it is worth the work.

You admit that you have a fondness for pornography. Do you think that pornography is a better way of understanding our own individual sexuality regardless of whether we’re a man or woman?

I think pornography is one of the many and varied useful sexual tools to be used in life. I don’t think we should shy away from anything that excites us or spices up our sex life that doesn’t hurt anyone. It does give us an insight into ourselves in terms of what pornography we respond to. I do have problems with the violence and humiliation of women depicted in much of the available pornography but it is hard to find porn that is free of this.

On page 46 of your book you mention, “sex isn’t intimacy”. What do you think are the risks and/or dangers in thinking that they are one in the same?

It is very easy for us to think we are being intimate with someone if we are having sex with them. Sometimes people force themselves to feel they are ‘in love’ with someone just because they lust after them. I confuse these things often. It is a shame. It makes relationships more complicated than they need to be.

One of your favourite quotes in the book was “every portrait that is painted with feeling is a portrait of the artist, not of the sitter – Oscar Wilde” could you elaborate more on why this quote was your favourite? Did it also influence your writing to some extent being that you were ‘painting’ yourself through words?

I do see parallels between this quote and my work. I often read a book and feel like I am knowing something of the writer. I love novels that have a narrator who is not the central character and you get to know about the narrator because of their view of the character eg: The Great Gatsby and Middlesex.

Who are you inspirations?

For sex writing I always go back to Anais Nin and Georges Batailles, but I love Eugenides, Carver, Delillo and Nabakov I just read M J Hylands new novel and was inspired again by that. I also love looking at paintings and often find my best inspiration in galleries.

How does your normal day start and what does it consist of?

On a good day, a writing day, I get up at 5 and write before anything else. I love the calm peace of pre-dawn. That sleepy pace where Ideas live. This is when my best and most inspired work happens. I often dip into my favourite writers as I do it.

Apart from Furious Horses, what compelled you to want to complete a novel and how did you reach your goal of publishing it?

I have written several unpublished novels. I always start with a burning need to get to the heart of something. Then I am dogged. I give myself a hard time. I refuse to let myself slack off. I am terribly hard on myself because it is so easy just to drop a book before it is done. The other books were not published. This one was. Publication is a whole different thing. It is about the market, and it is about being validated by someone choosing you. It is about others, an audience. It is a very important part of the process, but it is not about the writing, it is about marketing. I pitched this book to Text because they are my favourite publisher and I knew this book had a market. My next step is to get a novel published. This is my next and most important goal. Novels are very hard. Not only do you have to shape a good book, but you have to invent the content too.

In living with your gay housemate and sharing partners, and also being involved with your female housemates, did you believe that within those experiences was where you learned that “we are just sexual, not one thing or another, just a preference, not a definite line”?

I have never seen myself as gay or straight. I am just sexual. I secretly believe I am not unique in this, but my gay and sometimes my straight friends often disagree, so maybe this is just me. I suppose it is an individual thing, but I am sure given the right circumstance we will be able to be sexual with almost anyone.

Why did you choose to title your book ‘Affection’ and was the illustration on the front symbolise anything towards this?

The jacket design was a completely my publisher’s choice and I love it. They got it right. We discussed this and agreed it should be something reminiscent of Anais Nin jackets with a hint of my short story collection ‘Swallow the Sound’. The title was the choice of Christopher Currie (aka furious horses). I am terrible at titles. I asked him to come up with something and as usual he cam through with the goods. I love Chris. He compliments me so well.

How and why did you choose to detach yourself from intimacy?

Intimacy is just so difficult. Relationships are not easy. There have been times when I have felt no intimate connection to anyone. Also I have made some awful choices in my love life. Intimacy is that constant struggle.

On page 242 of your book you say, “I wondered what had once held me together, because now I was dispersing, falling into pieces on the bed”, what do you think held you together all those years up to that point?

My grandmother is a strong determined, stubborn woman and I am a bit like her in some ways. It is like how I continue to write till a book is completed. I refuse to let life defeat me. This has held me together through some awful times. I am also someone who quite likes life and finds joy in small things. Remembering to look for beauty everywhere is an important thing.

On page 255 of your book you mention “wanting to be held”, was this your first experience in wanting to be intimate?

When I was very young I would curl up next to my dog and feel incredibly loved just because that unconditional trust is amazing. I have often wanted to be intimate.

Do you think that everyone has that ‘special someone’ for them like you do?

I think we all have several potential ‘someone’s’. Many. I don’t think there is one person for everyone I think there are many choices that would be equally good but each with their own pleasures. It is up to us to pick one of these.

As an erotic writer, what is one piece of advice you would like to give in regards to sexuality?

Write what you feel. Write the truth. Include the awkward or embarrassing bits. This is how we recognize humanity.

As I’ve Always Been…

You’re either born a whore, or you’re not.

When I mean ‘whore’, I don’t use it in its literal meaning…but in the way that you are openly and lovingly promiscuous.

From a very young age I was fascinated and curious about cock’s and what they looked like but more importantly why they looked the way they did. I’d always try and get a sneak peek whenever I got the chance to…I don’t know what I was trying to achieve exactly, but I still did it. I was even told that I could “potentially” lose my eyesight if I did such things…it didn’t stop me.

I had crushes on different boys by the age of 4. One in kindergarten and one who lived across the street from me. I didn’t just like them…I felt somewhat a sexual connection and a need to want to be with them. Lust was evident even before I knew it existed…

My Memoir is a recount of my life as a whore. I believe that I have found the love of my life…and although I was a whore prior to meeting him, I will continuously and forever be a nymphet. I’m only 23 but I’ve engaged in many kinky sexual adventures, scandals and affairs. This Memoir will not only serve as an insight into my current passionate relationship, but will also delve into the adventures of my very naughty past, prior to finally choosing to settle down….