headfucked

 

If I could sum my life up into one song it would be this. 

The lyrics definitely apply to me and how I feel at this very moment…

 

“I don’t know what’s right and what’s real anymore
I don’t know how I’m meant to feel anymore
When do you think it will all become clear?
‘Cause I’m being taken over by the fear…“

 

I’m completely headfucked and there’s nothing I can do about it. 

I don’t want to see my friends. 

Nor do I want to talk to anyone about it.  I don’t want to burden my friends with my problems and appear to be a sook about it. 

Thank God I have my blog – writing is where I find my solace.  Oh and ‘words with friends’ on my iPhone has helped me keep my mind of things too.  Whenever I detach myself from everyone and go on this cleaning rampage that I know that I’m really sad.

This song has such a playful beat but the underlying message for anyone who can relate to it is so terribly heartbreaking….

the end of my week long birthday

it has been a hectic but very fun birthday week!

in my previous posts i mentioned a list of surprises my bf had in store for me so i thought i’d update you all on what he had done 🙂

inspiring

this was one of the surprises that i had already knew of in advance because he had to make sure i was going to be able to attend. he got me a memoir writing workshop for this weekend and i can’t WAIT to attend!

yummy 

our delicious dinner at nobu.

magical

he gave me a magic show! it was GREAT! i can’t even begin to describe how good it was! it was a magic show more towards the lines of derron brown…i think he’s got great potential but unfortunately he just wants to keep it as a hobby. my favourite trick was when he told me to think of any card and to write it down. i wrote down my card on a pad he gave me and put it into my pocket. at no time during the show did he get to look at it. at the end of the show he told me that there would be a card within the pile of cards he had placed half a metre behind me that would be turned over and THAT would be my card. unfortunately when we turned it over, it was one number before mine, with the suite being correct. he told me to turn the pad that i had written my card on over and it said, “the card within the pile will be one number less than the card you thought of“. i thought it was ABSOLUTELY amazing!

sexy

this particular category could pretty much fit into almost everything we did! from the rose petals to the stripper hopping, this was one of the main ways he kept my birthday week…very sexy 😉

vintage

he got me a book written by nancy friday in the 70’s called ‘my secret garden‘. he knows right now i’m into the ‘science‘ i guess you can say around sexual fantasies; i wanna know why people have them, how they have them, etc. i’ve read about a quarter of the book and i HIGHLY recommend it! nancy is GREAT! also one of my biggest inspiration’s ♥

childlike

he also got me another book ‘empress orchid‘. one of the first erotic books that i read when i was younger that really opened my eyes to the power and depth of sexuality, the reason why i am who i am today.

smelly (which is my BIGGEST pet hate so i really hope it’s nothing too bad  )

 i automatically thought this was going to be a bad smelly! it put that little twist into everything but he actually got me perfume that i had really wanted! it was a great surprise! 

kinky 

i would have to say that the egg vibrator controlled by a remote control was pretty kinky 😉 he wanted a tease me with it in my panties on our way to places and also at the strip clubs. he also wanted to experiment with the stripper having full control over me by having the remote but i thought i’d leave that adventure for another time!

&

adventurous 

he took me ice skating which was also something child like. a lot of the activities and surprises he had for me overlapped with other categories on the list which i thought was mad!

overall i had a wonderful and memorable birthday week! i couldn’t ask for more, thank you B*

stripper’s that let you touch & suck

last night was the last night of my birthday adventures so we decided to go stripper hoping after my boy’s fantastic performance! 

we went to about three strip joints; one had too many boys there, it was like it was their very first time to see tits and even though the girls were hot, i got turned off by the crowd. the second joint didn’t have enough people, so the third place we went to was ‘B2o’ since it had become our new favourite spot. the crowd was good and whenever i blended in with the crowd, stripper’s would approach my boy thinking he was alone and it proved again (as i often forget) that my boy is quite a looker 😉

even though we saw our fav stripper from the other night, i just wasn’t feeling it at these places. they were such a tease and the last time i got a dance i felt frustrated at the fact i couldn’t touch them. it was TOO much of a tease. i couldn’t even begin to imagine how a GUY would feel! 

a few years back i remembered going to my first strip club and they allowed clients to touch the stripper’s. i told my bf this and he too had heard this from a friend. so even though i wasn’t sure if this was still the case, we decided to make our final destination for the night there before heading home. it was nice and convenient because it was on the way home and very near to where we live. 

we walked in for free being that it was 2am in the morning and the first thing i noticed was a guy smoking…then another guy…then another! i was ecstatic at the fact we could smoke in there and i lit one up straight away as i had a look around the joint to get myself comfortable. the place hadn’t changed one bit and as i looked towards the end of the joint, the familiar one and only lapdance room was there. this joint was different to other clubs because they only had one room where everyone who wanted a dance could go into. no one got private rooms, it was like a massive stripper orgy!

the windows for the room were heavily tinted but i could still see inside as stripper’s were giving their client’s dances, one stripper in particular was straddled on top of her client facing him as he was softly fondling her beautiful breasts. i couldn’t believe my eyes as this TOO hadn’t changed! i looked at the other people in there getting their lapdances and they too were doing the same thing; having their stripper’s straddle them as they got to fondle their big beautiful breasts as they grinded up against them. i could hardly wait for mine!

i took a shot of wet pussy (no pun intended) and we sat near the room so that the next hot stripper who walked out we could grab straight away. we didn’t have much time left as the place was going to be closing soon too. one girl in there had a beautiful body and naturally big tits to match, not to mention a sexy face. i looked at my bf knowing that he too felt the same way.

as she walked out i slowly brushed my finger’s against her arm to get her attention and she greeted me with a big smile. i asked if she did couples and she said “ofcourse!” and we all made our way into the orgy room.

 we were the only couple in there, not to mention I was the only non-stripper girl in there too. she started on me and i couldn’t help but touch her body straight away. i touched the smooth skin of her back and made her moan as i made my way up to cup her heavy breasts. and as she let her breasts tumble out i couldn’t help but want to ravish her right then and there as her nipples became hard  gently rolling them in between my fingers. 

she leant towards me and started kissing my neck and making her way towards my breasts. i put my hands through her long dark hair and then over the arch of her back to feel her smooth skin again. i leaned closer to her so i could kiss her too and made her moan as i kissed the spots that i loved to be kissed on my own neck. 

she then sexily gets up and makes her way towards my boyfriend and kisses his neck as she slowly unbuttons his shirt. i can’t help but have my hands fondle her tits as i can’t get enough. i then grab my boyfriend’s hand and make him squeeze her breasts in his hand continuing to play with the other, knowing how much pleasure this is giving to her. 

she then turns around and sits on him, as i watch my bf giving her such sensual kisses on her back shoulder letting out moans as he rolls her jutted nipples in between his fingers…the sight is just TOO much for me to handle! i am so turned on at this point as iv got my hand rubbing on her thigh reminding myself that there is a no touching pussy policy! if you only knew how BADLY i wanted to touch her there! i was aching for her!

i then see my boyfriend lower his head making his way towards her breasts and he looks at me to do the same. we both take a nipple each into our mouths and make her moan in ecstasy! i wrap my lips around her nipple and suck it gently just like how i love to be sucked. i circle around and over her nipple with the tip of my tongue as i trace my finger’s around her breasts. i hear my boyfriend say to her, “you’re getting my girlfriend so horny…” and she replies back, “SHE’S getting me so horny!” i look up and give them both a very big sexy smile. 

she gets off him and as she makes her way to kneel in between my legs, i look around the room and notice how EVERYONE being the security guard, stripper’s and clients ALL have their eyes on US! it was amazing! it was like we gave THEM a show! 

the stripper had her hands on my thighs and slowly felt her way up under my skirt and before i knew it we were kissing! my bf later on told me that as soon as i started kissing her, her nipples became even harder…i’m pretty sure he too was finding it extremely hard to contain himself at this point. i pulled away in case i was coming on to her too much and she pulled me back for a lil bit more before our time was up. she looked at me with a gorgeous smile and said, “you’re so hot! i really hope you come back again!” i couldn’t help but think WHEN would be the next time i could have her and that experience again too!

as i got up and straightened myself out, everyone in the room had their jaws down to the ground, it felt so good knowing that i TOO turned them all on! i thanked the guard and gave him a smile, he too gave me a playful smile and a tap on the back (in other words, thanks for the show you kinky lil bitch! LOL)

writing this has gotten me so worked up that i’m going to grab my boy and role play a hot lil stripper scene…me being the stripper from last night and him telling me everything he would wanna do to her 😉 

 

showgirls

the next strip club we embarked on was renowned for where the underground mafia go and hang out. for now i’ll refer to it as ‘B20’.

as soon as i walked in i saw a dyke with an attitude walk in from the other room behind us angrily asking if she was entitled to her break yet. the guy gave my boy his change, smiled and answered her question in a low voice to subtly imply that she too shouldn’t be so outspoken.

she was the first girl i had a crush on that night. she reminded me SO much of my ex-gf that i couldn’t help but be fond of her. not to mention she was hot in that masculine but still a chick kind of way.

we walked upstairs to the main arena, dim and lit up with red lights. i always wondered why they used red lights, probably to give it that ambiance exactly like how they portray it in movies, except BETTER. we both needed to go to the toilet so we parted for a moment and when i came out a stripper was trying to chat up my bf! i was more surprised at the fact that i was NOT the least bit jealous! (a lil side note on myself is that i used to be extremely jealous. not of girls but i never wanted anyone being anywhere near my bf’s….even though i didn’t even like them that much. even i don’t know the reason so yeh…)

also back to what i said in my previous post, that stripper’s don’t usually go for ‘couple’s’ coz they think they’re just there for a lil perve or to keep an eye on their better half…so as soon as i was out of the picture, this stripper dives in the for the kill! as soon as she saw me she gave me a big hug and said happy birthday in the most fakest way possible (if there is even such a word! but i’m sure you get what i mean!) she tried to make petty conversation with me and i decided to walk to a table to watch the show that was about to begin. she followed us there but we didn’t pay much attention to her as we both didn’t find her that attractive. 

*my lil theory on stripper’s is that, i don’t care how skinny or even pretty you are, if you don’t have big tits, i don’t want your company. luckily the boy is also down with my theory. 

looking around room searching for a hottie, my boy spotted one; long blonde hair, big tits with the perfect tan. i have to admit she looked pretty nasty but i liked it! i kept eyeing her letting her know i was interested and that she should leave that geriatric she was trying to work her magic on.

she ended up leaving him and came and approached us. surprisingly enough she was really nice and it attracted her to me even more. i grabbed my boy’s thigh and with a big smile i asked for a lapdance!

she took us into the room and i’m telling you i was holding back SO bad from trying not to touch her! she had THE hottest body and when she rubbed her tits in my face i couldn’t help but want to wrap my lips around her jutted nipples.

she was all over me and i couldn’t help but get SO excited! not mention horny and she smelt oh so good! my favourite part was when she got me to undo her little pink panties…i pulled on each string at each side of her ever so slowly loving the smoothness of her skin on my fingertips.

she loved kneeling down and grabbing my tits even though it was unfair that i couldn’t grab hers. nevertheless, i’m not one to complain when a hot girl is feeling me up and giving me compliment’s on how hot my body was also! my bf could barely contain himself 😉 the dance ended too soon and i couldn’t help but want to share my experience with him also!

we gave her more cash and i sat back and enjoyed her being all over my bf. you wouldn’t believe how turned on i got from the whole experience, especially seeing her bend over to show him her tight ass…i couldn’t help but fantasize about him giving it to her hard!

i have to admit that has been the topic for our dirty talk and has given us both very happy endings 😉

 

birthday dinner and then some…

i spent the majority of my day basically pampering myself.  i think EVERYONE should do this on their birthday because you truly DO owe it to yourself.  whether you’re a guy or a girl you gotta pamper yourself; whether it be shopping, sleeping in, eating junk food, WHATEVER! just as long as you spend your day having fun and doing what you love…coz this is exactly what i did on my birthday! 

i made it a point to do everything that i loved so this included getting my nails done, buying product for my hair (this is because i don’t feel 100% beautiful unless my hair and nails look good), going to a bookstore and i did a lot of shopping, including buying a banging outfit for my birthday dinner.  

so i finally met up with my boy and we got ready at our place.  not to mention a lil birthday sex before heading out 😉 

we had a DELICIOUS dinner at nobu which also happens to be my favourite restaurant! (i highly recommend the yellowtail sashimi with jalopeno it is SCRUMPTIOUS! i’m drooling as i’m typing this!) for those who don’t know bout nobu, it is a restaurant that specializes in food that is a mixture of japanese and south american influences, so the flavours are to die for! 

after a few sips of my mojito i started to relax a bit more and i have to admit that drinking gets me that tad bit horny 😉

i suggested that after our dinner we head off to the stripper’s to put a lil bit of kinkiness into my birthday night! since i love hot girls with big tits, i had to include it in the list of things i loved doing ESPECIALLY on my birthday! 

the birthday card

the boy picked me up about 2 1/2 hours ago and gave me a very beautiful card! in it were some clues about what i’m goin to expect for my upcoming “birthday week”.  he wrote:

this week is your birthday and i have put together something:

inspiring

yummy 

magical

sexy

vintage

childlike

smelly (which is my BIGGEST pet hate so i really hope it’s nothing too bad :()

kinky 

&

adventurous 

apparently, NOT in that order. 

my first surprise will come when i hear the alarm on his phone go off at 12am…30mins from now!

im TOO excited! 😀

my “birthday week”

it’ll be my birthday as of tomorrow!

and my beloved boyfriend has a “birthday week” in store just for me from midnight tonight, isn’t he a sweetheart?

so i’ll keep you guys informed! it’ll consist of very kinky, sexy and funny activities…all of which i love ♥

knowing my boyfriend…it’ll be very adventurous!

i’ve got my finger’s crossed that he’ll have a lap dance in store from my favourite stripper sophie…or maybe even a lapdance from him…who knows?!!

amen.

buck wild baby

serendipity: good fortune or luck.

my definition; the boy i had THE biggest crush on back in high school from another state moves down to my state, becomes single and asks ME to show him around 😉 i couldn’t get ANY luckier!

i milked this situation like you wouldn’t believe! this guy was GORGEOUS!!! he was tall, dark and extremely handsome. he had that charismatic smile that could make any girl’s panties wet and he was definitely the type that girls would chase…but not me.

so he moved down here about two years ago but met him again last year.  he was a couple of years older than me and i always admired him from afar…as it was his friends that i knew. i met him once from what i can remember, and i thought that was a good enough reason to add him on facebook 🙂 (i know you all do it too so don’t even START to condemn me!)

a few months down the track he got in touch with me through facebook. saying that i looked like a party animal he would like to get to know better and if it would be ok to show him around. you don’t know how ECSTATIC i was! i was THE happiest person! mind you, i had a boyfriend at the time but i didn’t care!

so our first meet up was at my besty’s birthday. i made sure i looked shyt hot and i did! he didn’t stay long and i was pretty disappointed as it was because he had to go home and look after his ‘on again off again girlfriend’. i kind of lost interest in him after that. it spoilt my whole night too.

then he got in touch with me again, ofcourse giving me butterflies like you wouldn’t believe!!! so we decided to go clubbing. we partied and drank SO incredibly hard that night! we stayed till the place practically kicked us out! all the grinding that i did on him got us SO worked up, and even though i did everything i could…he didn’t make a move. i didn’t know whether i was glad he respected me, or frustrated cause i didn’t get me any ‘boom boom pow’. he looked me in the eye and told he wanted to do it the ‘proper’ way and not rush anything. since he just broke up with his girlfriend, he wanted to make sure i knew i wasn’t his rebound.

(BUT one of my TOP philosophies is…cut the shyt, let’s fuck. no bs, just do it. cause after you have sex, that’s when you know if you’re meant to go further in your relationship).

so i played like a lil virgin girl and agreed with him and waited till our next date; a romantic dinner for two. by the way, i HATE dates! i don’t believe in them, they’re stupid. i hate sitting there and feeling awkard, stressing bout what i look like while i’m eating or if i have any food in between my teeth. definitely NOT a fan.

but i still ended up going knowing i was going to get me SUM that night 😉

before meeting him i got a brazilian wax done and the girl that was doing it asked me,

“so…do you have a boyfriend?”

i answered,

“nope. but i’ve got a date tonight so now you exactly why i’m in here!”

it gave her her good laugh for the day. she needed it considering how many more puns she was goin to make smooth that day.

i met up with him…had that awkward date, but at the same time i couldn’t help but melt in his pressence. after he decided to take me to a bar.  the bar was quite cool, except for the fact everyone was peeking and it really wasn’t my scene.  all i could think about was him ramming his big cock in my tight pussy.

it was getting late in the night and i REALLY needed it. so i turned to him with a sparkle in my eye and said…

“what do you think about going to a hotel now?”

he was shocked…but at the same time he had that sparkle in his eye too.

we walked into about three or four hotels and LUCKILY enough for me a hostel was willing to check us in at 12am in the morning.

i couldn’t get up there any quicker! each step i took up the stairs got me wetter by the second! we finally got in there and had the best view of the city about 10 levels up. i turned the lights off and we both kissed each other with intense passion…i was glad he shared the same ache for me as i did for him.

he took his shirt off and OMG did he have a fucking hot body! being a fighter he was beautifully toned…i could barely wait to wrap my mouth around his cock!

i’m not used to being the ‘taker’ but i had no choice when he pinned me down and slid my lacey g to the side taking his breath away and makin me bite down on my bottom lip. his tongue licked my wetness up soooo good omgggggg! he couldn’t get enough! repeatidly telling me how delicious i tasted…

i could barely contain myself and needed him in me so i pulled him up to kiss me, loving the taste of my juice. i grabbed his long hard shaft and continued to tug it making him moan louder and louder for me. i pulled away and gave him a lustful look before i made my way down to his cock, he was so long and i loved having him in my mouth. i sucked it so deep and so good that i could feel him getting harder, tasting the familiar taste of pre-cum on my tongue. i didn’t want him to cum in my mouth so i pulled out and took control on top of him for a bit. but i couldn’t let him cum without him giving it to me in my favourite position. so i leaned down and sexily whispered in his ear,

“can you do me doggy baby?”

i felt his cock twitch in me as the words rolled off my tongue and into his ear. he couldn’t agree more and got me to bend over with my beautiful ass up. i once again took his breath away as he placed his hand over my ass and giving me a good lil spank!

*apparently* i moan and feel too good and that’s the reason why guys cum too quick. who knows…i feel all the guys i’ve been with have pre-ejaculation problems..but that’s just too many guys in the world that have the same problem….maybe i’m jus that good perhaps? maybe.

after moaning and groaning like a pornstar, i finally let him cum all over my beautiful derrière and he affectionately cuddled up against me. yet another thing i don’t really believe in. i’m not really the lovey affectionate type straight away….i have to warm into these things.

he then starts talkin bout travelling, and going to Europe together then coming back here to settle down and get married. i turned to him and jokingly said,

“you’re referring to me aren’t ya?”

he looked at me with a warm smile, the lustful twinkle in his eye replaced with one that was more loving, he said,

“you never know what the future has in store baby…”

i gave him a forced smile and slowly took  my arm off him, and turned my back towards him. he wrapped his arm around me pulling me close but i knew straight away that he wasn’t the one i wanted to be with. as attracted as i was to him and as sexy as i found him…someone that was just TOO into me has always been the biggest turn off.

my sweet escape

i came here alot when i was a child, i was definitely a beach baby & still am.