moving on…

i’ve decided to make another blog in my attempt to get over my ex.  i’ve decided that it was time to move on because if i stayed in that train wreck, i’d eventually get hurt in the end coz inevitably one day, he’ll come to me and tell me he’s moved on or worse, has fucked someone else or more likely, other people.  i can’t afford to sit around and wait for that day to happen, nor do i deserve it.  a few nights ago i realized that it was hurting me and making me para ‘staying’ with him, but it hurt not being with him too.  i had to accept that it is what it is.  it’s shyt, we want different things, we’re not understanding each other anymore and it’s best if we just part ways and live our lives separately.  i don’t know what the future holds for us, but i do know for certain that i own the now, and i intend to live it in the best way possible.  i don’t want to be emo anymore nor do i want to be angry or have a low self-esteem from fucking unfair expectation’s put on by someone who i thought loved me. 

 

god bless this blog for here i can openly say what i want *ahhh* 

 

 

on another note, slowly creeping back are the fucking idiots who i used to be with *urgh* i think they think that cause i’m single, it means i’m going to give them a free fuck.  they couldn’t be further from the truth.  so i wrote this little blog post on my other blog to let them know how i felt:

 

I think there may be a slight misunderstanding here boys…. I’m single, NOT a free fuck. Although, there are brothel’s and escort’s you can go to & they will be more than happy to cater to your needs. So please stop contacting me if it’s ASS that you’re after.

note: this is in no way, shape or form directed at my ex/bf.

 

in the brilliant words of einstein, “doing the same thing over and over again and expecting the same results is insanity.”  i’ve been doing the same fucking thing over and over again for years and i’m thru with it.  i’m thru with fuckheads so from this moment on i’m starting from a clean slate; no more ex’s, no more fuck buddies, nothing. 

 

it’s a new beginning for me and i love the person that i’m becoming x 

sex addiction does not = infidelity

It’s such a shame that as of late, a number of celebrities have come out and admitted that they have cheated due to being a sex addict.  They are (as we are all aware) Tiger Woods, David Duchovny, Eric Benet (checked himself into rehab to try and save his marriage with Halle Berry but ended up getting divorced in 2003), Russell Brand and Usher just to name a few.  But does being a sex addict really make it ok to cheat or is it just an easy cop out?

According to medical experts, sex addiction has to do with the relationship one has with sex.  Therefore sex addiction isn’t about the activity itself or even about having a high sex drive.  It’s about being able to find some kind of ‘escape’ when doing it, whether it’s finding instant happiness or a way of coping with stress.  It’s the use of sex to gain instant gratification or an instant ‘high’ on life.

Sex addiction isn’t just multiple affairs or paid sex, it also ranges from compulsive masturbation to the excessive use of porn (often referred to as the ‘crack cocaine’ of sex addiction, being that it’s so easily and widely accessible, people are instantly hooked).  Most sex addictions start from there and only progress to increasingly dangerous behaviours from there.  Severe cases have been found where people lose their jobs and partners because of it, and 17% even lose the will to live.

But not all medical experts are convinced by their patients’ pleas of being a sex addict.  Some believe that the use of the term makes people shun the responsibility of their actions by having a somewhat legitimate excuse.  Psychologists refer to this as ‘functional attribution’ – sex addicts being able to justify their actions by thinking they can’t really help themselves.  Although, an anti-testosterone drug has now been made available as a cure, but apparently they’re not the most desirable pill to swallow.

Now I’m no medical expert but I am aware of the many delectable things people can be easily addicted to.  It’s only human nature to want to indulge once in a while in order to reward yourself or to just gain instant gratification.  Whether it be through food, alcohol or even shopping.  But it should never be at someone else’s expense.

An addiction to anything is never healthy and shouldn’t be used an excuse for destructive behaviour.  Especially when that behaviour ultimately leads to heartache.  More often than not, it’s not the act of sex that hurts your significant other, rather the betrayal behind the cheating that hurts the most.  Regardless of the addiction, it’s important to take responsibility and seek the help that is needed.  It’s too easy to place the blame of your indiscretions on an addiction, but it’s just not good enough.  Don’t make something that’s meant to be pleasurable, the cause for your loved one’s misery.

summer fling or the real thing?

Popularised by ‘Grease’, ‘summer lovin’ has definitely been a favourite for years.  So was yours just a ‘summer fling’ or could it be the real thing?  Here are 7 signs that show you two may be in it for the long haul.

 

 

1.     You both make an effort to spend time with each other

The fact that you’re spending time together proves that there’s more to your relationship than just a fling.  Aren’t flings meant to only last that one time…hence the term?  If you’re both making the effort to spend time together and getting to know each other more, there’s definitely something more there than just a “once off thing”.

 

2.     You can’t stop talking to your friends about them

If you’re telling your friends about them and can’t stop talking about them, you’re completely smitten.  Providing that they’re doing the same then you’re both onto something real.  Most people only tell their friends about their flings to brag about what they did over summer.  But when you find that almost everything you talk about is about them…once again, you’re completely smitten.

 

3.     You constantly check their Facebook profile

If you’re (secretly) checking their Facebook profile every hour on the hour, it proves that they mean that little bit more to you than just a casual hook up.  It’s a little stalker like…but cute to an extent.  It shows that their every status update and wall post mean so much to you.

 

4.     You can’t stop thinking about each other  

When you’re thoughts are filled with them 24/7, and just the mere thought of them whilst you read this is giving you butterflies…you can be pretty sure that you’ve been bit by the love bug. Hard.  People you have flings with aren’t meant to give you butterflies.  They definitely make you feel a type of sensation below, but not in a mushy lovey sorta way.  

 

5.     Sharing is Caring

If it were just a fling, both of you would be keeping things fairly light and excessively flirty.  But when you both slowly start to open up and share things with each other that you normally wouldn’t, it’s a sign that your connection isn’t just skin deep. Sharing goals, interests and embarrassing moments are signs that you both want to know each other on another level and have a deeper connection.  Honestly, there’s really no need for that if you’re relationship mainly involves breaking beds.

 

6.     You genuinely enjoy each other’s company

He makes you laugh, while she makes you smile.  The more time you spend with each other you discover that you genuinely enjoy their company.  Spending time together shows that your relationship has progressed from a mere ‘fling’ to an actual ‘thing’.  It also means that you want to be more involved in each other’s lives. 

 

7.     The “DTR” Talk

When the “DTR” or other wise known as, the ‘define the relationship’ talk comes up, you can be pretty certain that your fling is on its way to becoming the real thing.  The talk wouldn’t be needed if you both had the understanding that you were in it for just a little ‘fun’.   Defining the relationship implies a new level in the relationship, the possibility of something more.  If all of the above signs are there and you’re ready, why not give it a go?  Love never made anyone a failure.  Just take each day as it comes with no expectations and remain optimistic.  If it all comes to an end, you can deal with it then.  The last thing you want to do is regret what could have been…